Suicidal Thoughts

I remember, having talking about suicidal methods which one can take with my friends. I don't know why I suddenly thought about that topic. We talked about the pain factor, aesthetics factor, fun (before you die) factor...

1) Slitting of wrists: It's messy, and of course it hurts. You see and feel blood spurting out from your cut wrists, like water fountains. Unlike TV shows, blood don't trickle, if you really intent on killing yourself. It's often, very grostesque and messy. And painful.

2) Jumping down from anywhere really tall: The thrill factor will be there, before you hit the ground. But once you wham your face into the ground, it'll be really messy and ugly. Every bone will be shattered. And on the way down, steer clear of all objects to maximise thrill factor and minimise pain factor. There's one case that a person was decapitated because his/her head hit the paraquet so hard, that the head broke off the body. So that the body lay below the building but the head was on some floors above at the corridor. And it better be somewhere really tall and can, for sure, kill you, once and for all. It's worse when you become paralysed, when you all the more want to kill yourself, but find yourself, all helpless and unable to move at all to bring a knife to your throat.

3) Downing sleeping pills / detergent: Sleeping pills would prolly be a quieter way to go away than detergent. But both can result in serious bouts of vomitting which can be really painful. You start foaming at the mouth, while your stomach is churning and trying its very best to dispel the poison and toxic. You die smelly and foaming and prolly blue from choking on your own vomit.

4) Drowning: It's a painful and slow way to kill yourself. You struggle and kick at nothing, your lungs burning for air; suffocation is a horrible lonely feeling. It's not aesthetical either, your body will bloat up and turn greyish-blue.

5) Gassing: My friends and I once thought that gassing yourself seems the quietest and painless and most aesthetical way to go. You'll die with a pink glow on your face, and most of the times, you won't feel suffocated because you will die in your sleep. But you risk being blown up, once there's an electric spark the whole house will be blown up. And you risk having other innocent people being injured or killed too in your quest of killing yourself.

6) Hanging: Like drowning, suffocation. And you will look horrible. I was told, before that the tongue will hang out of the mouth, and because you struggle so much and kicking blindly at air, you may shit or pee in your pants.

7) Setting one self on fire: Pain, and of course, you will not be recognized. If you manage to find a place to really burn yourself up without anyone stopping you. And of course, you risk setting up the whole place on fire, which may also injure innocent people.

8) Stabbing one self: Pain pain pain.

9) Shooting self with gun: (let's not talk how you get the gun in the first place) At the head, your brains will fly out and splatter on the wall. And half your head will be blown off. Not pretty. If you shoot yourself in the throat, your head will be lolling off by sheer skin and some shreds of muscles. Very unpretty. If you attempt to shoot yourself at your chest, you may not die so quickly. You will most prolly die from internal bleeding and drowning from your own blood. See 4) Drowning.

There's no way that you can kill yourself, painlessly, beautifully, and without having anyone risking being hurt also. I was thinking whether stuffing one self with Milo powder can achieve that, or not. I love Milo.

But I thought also, people who are determined to kill themselves, will not really think of consequences, or how they'll look like after they die, or the pain... The pain that they are going through in their lives, must be tremendous to make them want to take their lives. People say that committing suicide is a selfish act. I don't deny that, do they think of the people who care for them, who love them...? They prolly thought that ending their lives will be tantamount to ending all troubles. Their own troubles. But they didn't think how devastated how sad their families and friends will be with their absence.

Committing suicide is a crime, you know? Your body will be handcuffed and taken away. And your body will also be caned.