Ketchup Thoughts

Recently met up with my secondary school friends and we caught up over some drinks and sweet foods. G, brought along her Baby. We were cooing and making funny ugly faces at her, I think we would have looked ridiculous to the public.

I held The Baby for the first time, feeling quite apprehensive. Babies are such fragile, squishy little things, they’re cute but... you know, clumsiness is a trait of mine. I didn’t quite know what to do with her, I didn’t even hold onto dolls and teddy bears when I was a kid, for goodness’ sake. I just held her tight and tried to, er, make her distracted from the fact she was entrusted to me (who know nuts about babies and how they should be dealt with). The Baby was a brave one. And easy going. Didn’t kick up create a big fuss in my hands. But she kept kicking at nothing for the longest of time. We all commented that she’s gonna have some mighty powerful pair of pins.

It made me wonder, am I prepared to be a Mom? It did strike me a little scary. You can’t sleep through the night(!). Somehow, that point brought up by G was blinking neon at me. Gee, that’s a tough sacrifice.

G later left cos The Baby was looking really tired. If I kicked at nothing for an hour, I would probably want to lie down and sleep too.

Further caught up with SQ and SR on the rest of our classmates. For a few days since the catchup, I thought about the career choice that one of our classmates took. I knew his profession as a photographer since a year back. Todate, I question myself if I would ever find my courage, like him, to pursue my dreams, my interests. I am ashamed that I haven't. Somehow or rather, along the way, I lost sight of my ideals, my dreams, and doing what I love most. Other things, (seemingly or not) more important, took their places instead. My interests have slowly been sidelined subconsciously as I grew older.

Doodling, photography, painting, fashion, writing, plonking on the piano are what I love to do. I am an ‘Arts’ person**. But... how much time do I put aside for the things I love doing, in a year...? I used to immerse myself for hours in one artwork. Would I pursue a career in them? How much am I willing to put to risk, to pursue my dreams?

How would you balance between practicality and your dreams in doing what you love?

[**JX termed me the ‘Arts’ person, while to me, he’s the practical, straightforward ‘Engineering’ person.

He asks “What?”; I ask “Why?” He solves problems plaguing him straight away, while I brainstorm why the problem exists and how to nip the problem at the bud (which he thinks is crap and waste of time. While I think he’s in denial).

He’s great at Maths and Logic, while I am better at (English) Language (because he beats me in Chinese hands down, feet down, head down) and have an eye for aesthetics and er, Reason and er... Philosophy. ]