Perplexity

....................

Wanted to blog about how shitty-low-confused I'm feeling right about now, but I realized that perplexity stole away my vocabulary and the patience to make my ramblings coherent.

Leaving myself even more frustrated than before this blog entry.

Maybe that's how people spiral right into depression - the need for an outlet to vent, and yet, the process of venting is frustrating itself. ARGH.

If...

you could be someone's hero, just for a moment, would you step up to it?

Random Bites

How does one use editing tools to make drawings bold and sharp like Mr. Oatmeal (as below)? Does anyone know? :(

And jeez, I seem to be rather sickly this year. It's only the start of March and I'm having a flu, AGAIN? Darn weather.

The Top 10 Types of Crappy Interviewees by The Oatmeal

(Source: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/interviewees)

Absolutely love it!!!

The Random Phone Doodles

The random neckless polka-dotted dinosaur.

Thought this was one of my better doodles while hanging onto a phonecall.Tried to splash in some colors (experimenting for my impossible project), and it took me longer than I expected. Not to say that the final outcome was anything spectacular. Hmm...

That's why... I bought watercolour paint! :D

Am I ready to...

...to launch an almost impossible project?

Really inspired to, but it has been quite a while since I drew something nice (instead of the dinosaurs and random triangles and squares I scrawled on useless papers at work while spacing out as the dial tone buzzed into my ear, waiting for the other party to pick up the phone. Anyway.. there's something quite hypnotizing on the dial tone, doncha think?)

Anyway! So... I can try. Right?

Right!

The Potion that came in a Plastic Bottle

Although I do not know what it means by "quenching" my "bridal thirst" (sounds as though I'm thirsty to be married). But the potion may just be doing its trick. Things are falling into place! Tho' haphardly.

Hmm

In a year's time, things are going to be a wee bit different.

If only T-Rex can double up as a masseuse...

Meek kitty looks like it's born to be the lazy kitty's slave.

The Procastinator attempts... to blog again

1. Hooked onto "Dicey Business" although it's a 2006/2007 show. And then realized that all shows on lame mediacorp now are related to gambling and casinos. More than a little coincidental with the opening of SG's first casino, isn't it? And that advertisement on some helpline for hardcore gamblers on tv is really getting onto me. It's sad, but I doubt hardcore gamblers take time out to watch much tv anyway.

2. Trying to really pick up Cantonese. Had attempted to speak to a Hong Konger when my non-Canto colleague needed my help, knowing that I'm a Cantonese. I couldn't hold a conversation for nuts. Practically "shamed" into learning Canto for real. I mean, I wanted to all along but my parents gave up talking to me because I spend eons stuttering one miserly sentence. And even then, they don't understand that. But! I bought a book on Canto to prove my sincerity. Canto, download into me!

3. The wedding preparations. To decide on the venue is really quite a tiresome exercise. Managing others' expectations is an absolute chore...

4. Contemplating between a Blackberry and an iPhone. Oh jeez. The allure of the iPhone seems to be fading rapidly. Ahh, maybe I should just stick to my Sony Ericsson for now.

5. The new version of "We are the World" gave me the goosebumps and it's not the feel-good kind. Oh no, I now belong to the "older" generation who turns their noses at the music which youngsters are grooving into, right?

Roaring CNY

"Arrrgh! Gong Xi Fa Cai" --> What a weird CNY greeting.

CNY eve - had a reunion steamboat dinner with my family and went off to Marina Barrage to fly a kite. Beautiful weather. Spongebob squarepants-lookalike kite. Great day!

P.S.: All pics taken from my trusty Sony Ericsson cam-phone. I would dare say I'm pretty proud how the pics turn out?

Cool!!!

I can blog using the iPhone! Another good reason amongst the many to get hold of one.

I'm not blogging as often I should because (I'm lazy and a procastinator) I forget what I wanted to rant about when I get home.. But! With the iPhone I can blog anytime, anywhere!! Teehee.

Lame attempt in justifying a splurge? I thought so too. :( Especially if I spent nearly 1K on Christmas presents last month...

Batu Ferringhi

Couples' Retreat in Penang.

Let's just say that we had greater expectations from its food.

A Loooong Weekend

And despite that, I am procastinating in reviving the pretty-much-dead blog of mine.

Clearing my leave is a joyous thing, right? Not, if, you don't have anything much in plan. And end up working from home on the first day of leave.

There's so much shopping one can do, actually. So I figured I could kickstart the introduction of exercise into my life again while idling these days away. Not too bad, the weather these days are looking really good and swimming is not too bad an idea. Who knows, by the end of this weekend, I would look like some sunny beach girl. (hee hee)

And then I could not locate my swimming cap and goggles - threw a hissy fit. I would just have to make do with a pair of spare (ill-fitting, decaying) goggles and squeaky chlorinated hair for now. And come to think of it, my swimming costume seems thin and a tad... furry.

And jeez, what a bad shape I am in. At least the struggles in the waters are not too apparent... I think. I hope I look like I just have an odd form of swimming.

Man, a long way to go. A looooong way to go.

9 x 3 = 27

Happy Birthday, honey!

Looking through the pictures that we took randomly over the weekend, I found out that there were more pictures of this pitcher plant at Hort Park than those of us. (-_-)

Something in its shape intrigued him.

And another one. Out of the many he took. As long as he finds one bigger than the previous one.

♥ing you!

Halloween 2009

Getting ready - chalking up our faces proved to be a really messy affair. Ah Qi's home was covered with a layer of dust when we were done. Pictures were minimized for a very good reason. Hee hee.

But, must really thank Zi Gim for sourcing all the relevant stuffs for us to make our looks complete. And braving the rain to buy us all dinner while we tried to get ourselves into the mood of a Chinese relic vamp/ghost (basically, bumming around).

And the end result... was quite satisfactory. Judging from the fact that we had streams of strangers requesting to take pictures of us. Frankly, it almost felt as if we were "Lindsay Lohans" or "Paris Hiltons" for that night.

Grooving to Hip Hop in Rebel, in those outfits. Hmm. Our ancestors must be turning in their graves?

Flash Mobs

And... this happened last Friday, right where I work. I thought it was pretty amazing - and that I would want to join the next flash dance mob! Who wants to join me???

And then I saw these other flash mobs from other parts of the world. And all I could say was that I wished that I was a part of them... Watching these videos made me so happy! They made surprised strangers who were passing by, stop in their tracks and join them!

Speaking of which, I wonder if flash mobs originated from Bollywood films?... We all do know that random strangers from the general public in Bollywood films can suddenly come and dance together.

Blank, just Blank

I don't know what has gotten into me - maybe it's nearing the end of the year. I'm feeling... bored, with everything I do. Want to blog, but I don't go get down with it. Just wasting my time away, watching TV, and blanking out. Just feel so blah, I don't know what to say.

Not good.

What I did accomplish though, in the recent days, was to wake up way early last Sunday to have a morning walk/jog at MacRitchie Reservoir. Glad I went along with my uncle's idea, although albeit crazy (in my terms, since I only wake up at 11AM on Sundays). Rather revitalizing - I can so conveniently forgot how workouts feel these days. A possible canoeing experience the next time. Yay...?

Meanwhile, I was blown away by this MJ medley:

Man, this guy is good. Sam Tsui. He can be a boy band on his own.

I really admire and envy such talented people - and sometimes, I then wonder, what talent do I have to call my own?

I know it's a tad early but...

It's September.......!!! And I'm looking forward to... Halloween next month. And I'm sort of the coordinator for this one... so...

Now, I got a number of people going - Good. Group get-ups are fun and should be easy, right? Wrong. So difficult to get all to settle on one theme. And so much stuffs to consider. For all we know, we may just settle for different themes individually in the end.

Anyway... thought of a few:-

1. KISS: All you need is white and black face paint! And a long tongue. And some studs. And at the end of it all, a good cleanser and pimple cream.

2. Green Monsters/Heros: Hulk, Green Goblin, Shrek, Princess Fiona, The Swamp Thing, Yoda, Captain Planet....... Just need a hell lot of Camo paint.

3. Dead Celebrities: A sure hit to hit the clubs during Halloween this year - Michael Jackson. Farrah Fawcett with her red swimsuit, Marilyn Monroe with her mole and halter white dress, John Lennon with his long hair and round-frame glasses, Elvis Presley and his curry-puff hair... Maybe, the girls to be Marilyns, the guys to be Elvis.

4. Power Rangers: Disadvantage - spandex in clubs won't be comfortable I'm sure. And spandex won't hide unsightly bulges. One advantage - Masked!

5. Anime: Anime costumes are way way way more expensive, and I only know a few anime series...

6. X-Men: Dunno which version of X-Men is this... But it's spandex again. But unmasked.

7. Diseases transmitted from Animals: Pig, Cow, Chicken Mascot heads? Nose stuffed with tissue papers?

8. Zombies: Easy peasy. Just need some fake blood and tattered rag clothes. But... not that original la. (But what is?!)

I just somehow feel that we're all going to end up as individual Halloween creatures eventually but anyways... maybe we need to organize a trip down to the costume shop at Beach Road one of these days! Yay?

Little Innocent Suns

Beautiful!

(source:http://emersonmerrick.blogspot.com/)

Beauty in its simplicity and purity. And they could sit really pretty in a vase right there on my imaginary coffee table in my imaginary home. Too bad I have yet to see any flower shops in Singapore selling such little pretty daisies. I always see their big gaudy neon hollow-stemmed cousins around though.

SPGs

(in the midst of a conversation)

M: ...and I walked far away from my ang mo boss, not wanting others to think I am an SPG.

Me: (bemused smile)

A: (interrupting) I like caucasian guys! So does that make me a SPG? Hahaha!

M and my jaws dropped to the floor as we stared blankly at her. I don't know why but that comment riled me.

Me: And why is it that you prefer caucasian guys?

A: Well, I find them to be more open-minded, great conservationalists. Local guys are more conservative and they are not interested in topics of discussion like politics and basically anything under the sun. In fact, they will find it boring.

Stereotyping, how typical.

Me: If that's the case, it just plainly means that you like guys who are open-minded and who are great conversationlists... what has race or nationalities got to do with it?...

How superficial. Ironical. How open-minded are you in the first place to say the things you do?

The Eventful Bintan trip

Kind of difficult to get in the groove of blogging again once I lose the momentum. It was at the stage of “Hey, why bother?”, but I know that I would appreciate that in time to come. Like, when I’m old and cranky and couldn’t find a good storybook or movie to relate to, to pass my time.

There is this recent paranoia that gripped hold of me after a convo with a friend – how uploaded pics on the internet can be so rampantly abused elsewhere where you probably do not know exist. Makes me wonder about my own privacy security after hearing what she said about her experience. Guess I have to be real selective with what I upload on the Net now.

Our trip to Bintan in that one week break was great, but fraught with a couple of mishaps. The sky was a bright blue and the sea was sparkly and the slight sea breeze was singing, I swear. Makes you wonder how breathtaking Bora Bora, Maldives and Mauritius will be! Yes, it’s my lifetime resolution to go to those places at least once in my lifetime.

It’s not as if I hadn’t been to Bintan – the last time (maybe, 10 years ago?) was with my girls at Clubmed Bintan. And how the prices soared since then.

1st Day:

- Had a dip in the pool after our arrival and felt a tad awkward in my bikini. Almost flashed myself to all in the swimming pool after I took off my top and my bikini string came undone. JX freaked out obviously.

- Air rifles. I’m good la. I shot down a golf ball at my first attempt, to the shock of the instructor and JX. (JX was bragging about having gone to NS and that he had handled weaponry.) There were videos, but... that story comes later.

- A massage which wasn’t exactly satisfactory because my masseuse was sneezing the whole time. Didn’t hear her wash her hands before she placed/wiped/rubbed her hands on my body.

2nd Day:

- Drizzling. Each of us got a temporary tattoo to humor ourselves. Mine took a helluva long time to dry up. Had to return to our room and watch MTV while checking on the ink. Just had to smudge mine the last minute because I was getting really impatient as the sun had come out. Screamed for JX to fix it up.

- Lazing by the beach with music blasting beside our ears. Played with the crashing waves like kids.

- Big gloomy clouds ruined our play. Had some food and a satisfying massage by the sea.

3rd Day:
- Jet ski! I pointed to the picture of jet skis on their phamplet and said matter-of-factly, “Two!” to the person manning the booth at the beach. The guy raised his brow and JX looked at me questioningly, “Two? We ride separately?” I nodded and proclaimed that I wanted to ride the jet ski myself – doubt he wanted to sit behind me anyway. JX looked away slowly - I know he had that nagging worry about my safety but he knew me too well. And oh gosh... it was exhilarating!! I squeezed the accelerator and went all out to catch up with the guy who showed us the skiing area. Following his weaves through the wave crests and yelling into the wind and tasting the sparkly salty sea water splashing against my face. JX and I raced up and down way out in the sea, trying ignore the niggling thought about the sea's depth beneath us. When we eventually got off, I was actually aching from gripping onto the handles of the Jet Ski as I was flying in midair as the Jet Ski bounced off the waves.

- Frolicked in the sea with the sun beating down on us. The finest sand, the clear waters. Totally felt that I was in a world of our own.

- Dune Buggy. I wasn’t too keen actually. I was videocamming our ride, JX at the wheel, where he lost control of the buggy because we went uphill and hit a different ground consistency, resulting in us crashing into a tree in the middle of the track. The video was rolling all the while. On hindsight, it would have been pretty hilarious - I was chiding him as the reckless driver when the crash happened and I screamed the next moment before the whines in pain, whilst the video was filming my thigh in my momentary paralysis. Due to the sudden hard jolt, I was thrown off my seat but thrown back into my seat because of the loose muddy rusty seat belt which grazed my neck pretty bad. Was in slight shock. I was almost in tears from the sharp burning pain at the side of neck. JX had a nasty scare and was worried about my wound and the possibility of a bad infection. The mood was ruined, basically. And just when we were about to hit the main roads and leave the jungle, I realized, to my horror of all horrors, that JX’s handphone was no longer with me. I had shoved his handphone (which I was holding onto to take the video) into my pocket after the crash, so that I could hold onto the loose filthy seatbelt and that it would not graze my raw wound. Major panic. JX sent me back for first aid before he headed back to the jungle with the instructor to locate his handphone. I was feeling so terrible. ALL of our pictures and videos taken in Bintan were in there! And the special sentimental value of the saved messages to JX. It was such a downer, it ruined the remainder of our trip.

Last Day:

- Picture taking and filming videos. To make up for the lost pictures, though it was obviously not the same. :

What is wrong with Blogger!

Boy, this sucks! Now I'm seriously contemplating switching to livejournal or something else. (\_/)!!

The Nonsensical Team in The Ultimatum Showdown Spoof

The things we do when we have the time, space, and a neon plastic air rifle in our hands. What can I say - we're such lousy actors. Laughing "corpses", and a question that was asked without a need for its answer before putting bullets into the same person whom the question was posed to, shooting blanks while the victim waited, and urged, to be shot.

Wonder why we weren't frisked away by Changi Airport's security. Playing with that gun and playing dead. Pretty sensitive, no?

NG. Actor yelling "cut!" himself.

Not an average day out on a Sunday with cousins for the average person, don't you think?

Me, the Emo Emu

Has been such a long hiatus, I know.

I have contemplated on how to go about blogging on the happenings in the recent weeks without sounding like an annoying emotional blubbering idiot – and I figured, there’s no other way.

Because, I was, and am, very touched! Shi had ever called me an easily touched “emo emu”, but what’s wrong with that? If you’re happy, laugh; if you’re upset, cry; if you’re touched to tears, let them flow! Life’s too short to ponder if you should be displaying your emotions on your sleeves when you’re indeed feeling that. Why make it so complicated when it’s in actual fact, so simple? (Although I’m not advocating a melting shouting showdown with your boss when he pisses you off by calling you back into office to print a 2 page document just as when you are stepping out of the office on a Friday night after a long grueling day, when he could have jolly done so himself. Or... should you?)

JX asked me if I had changed, because of him, from a hardy girl who rarely cries (in his eyes, at least) to a somewhat silly blubbering softie. Like, he spoilt me. But if there was that change in me, I think I should accrue that to having almost kicking the bucket near 2 years back. One day you are leading a plain, if not boring, life, going through the motions, and you were suddenly thrown off the track and straight into the dumps where you lumbered around desperately like a helpless headless chicken, living second by second, minute by minute, day by day; while your spirit and determination wanes. So when you manage to bounce right back, from the dumps, you are bound to appreciate what you had/have; plain or not, boring or not. You will learn to appreciate that what you had taken for granted - simple things - are actually so precious.

And that’s what changed me. I endeavor to live life, and not just plain living. While I don’t exactly mean that I will go bungee-jumping every other day and go round the world in 80 days on a bank loan, I resolve to be true to myself and everyone I care about and live happily as I would allow myself everyday. That is good enough for me. Simplicity is happiness in its own right. Happiness, is all in the state of one’s mind.

So, JX sprung a surprise proposal, but even before he sang his song and got down on his knees to pop the question with the ring in hand, I was long crying. Heck, my tears had already sprung when my besties popped out of nowhere with a humongous bouquet of roses and a rolling video camera. The venue he chose was perfect, it couldn’t have been any other place – the hospital’s chapel. The same hospital that we both were born into, the same hospital that cared for me while I was struggling for my life, the same hospital that saw me relearning how to walk, and the same hospital’s chapel where he had cried silently and prayed for me to return and recover.

And making JX and my besties being part of it all added that extra boost of dramatic surprise – my emotional dial went straight into the dangerous red zone. I was short of wailing emotions.

Although come to think of it, I do not know exactly how I was feeling at that point in time. Shock, mostly, I guess. And when realization hit, touched. The thorough planning to set the surprise up, while he bombarded me with “smoke bombs to mislead my 6th sense”. For the record, my 6th sense was not usually that dull if not for his devious intricate planning.

And I was reduced to a blubbering idiot within mere seconds from an expressionless dull look, as described by Shi. I must have made everyone bewildered with that sudden onset of gushing tears. “Hey, that wasn’t part of the plan!” Me, rooted at the doorway of the chapel, crying, clutching tightly to the overwhelming bouquet of roses. Ha, I got you guys there. At least.

Of course, my answer was obvious. In fact, I thought we were going to do away with the entire proposal works. Everyone whom I cared about and who cared about me, knew how much JX means to me, and vice versa. The ordeals that he stanchly underwent when I ran into some tough patches, the pain he silently endured while putting on a brave and cheerful front before me as I lay on the hospital bed no matter how tired and emotionally exhausted he was, the little stuffs and details which I said or did flippantly which he took note of, the efforts he put in to just make me happy - I do feel, so very fortunate...

It was nice to have the Sisters and some of the hospital staff present to congratulate us and all. Felt a little queer with the photoshoot for the hospital's newsletter though. Got a little sense on how wedding photoshoots are going to be like, and boy, I doubt it's going to be easy.

Ending the day with a high-tea at Goodwood Park Hotel with our best buddies was a very nice touch. Could not have been any other way. It was really great, getting to share my happiness with my girls, just as it was for JX with Nick. It was emotive too, knowing that Nick, who helped JX with his logistics and planning so that JX could keep up with his nonchalant front before me, had a night shift before and hadn’t had much sleep.

I was so utterly moved by the entire setup, the endomorphine hormones went into overdrive that lasted me for days. I actually woke up the next day, thinking that it may be a dream. It was that surreal. But when I realized it’s not, my emotions kicked up again. Yeah, geeee.

Wondering if I should upload the video here when I get hold of it from Shi. JX’s concerned over his cracking voice and singing, while I am just plainly, simply a mess.